Most, if not all of you, have heard some sort of self-love mantra: “don’t give up.” “Be your best self.” “Love yourself for who you are.” All are good in their own way; and at times they lose sight of some of life’s biggest and everyday challenges we face. Doing the best you can each and every day looks different. It looks different per the person, day, mood, mental and physical space we are in. Doing the best we can requires us to be mindful and accept many different parts of our life, day and moment. My hope is that on your journey you learn to do just that! Accept your “best.”
We all LOVE good days! When you’re having a good day do you relish in it? Do you breathe in how you feel in that moment as if you are capturing that space in a bottle? My encouragement to you is that when you’re having this good day that you do just that. Take in your good day with all five senses. What are you seeing, tasting, smelling, feeling, touching and hearing? This is a way to capture this day and a possible way to bring yourself back to it when your day hasn’t been so good. It can also be a great way to make that good space stretch! For some writing themselves a letter from this space can be helpful to reference back to also. In trying any or all these things we allow ourselves to be mindful and appreciate the good. This also allows a real-life reminder that it will be better again.
Let’s chat about the tough days. You know, the opposite of the days we LOVE. This again, can look different in many ways, even per the individual. Take a step back and have an assessment of yourself in that moment. Are you burnt out? Physically ill? Frozen with anxiety? Weighed down by heavy depression? Or maybe just in a funky mood. Whatever the feeling/reason the best you can is going to look different this time. We cannot expect ourselves to achieve, complete, or show up in the same capacity in one of these spaces as we do when we are feeling great. So expectations must shift here. Maybe the best you can do on this day is getting out of bed to brush your teeth or putting on fresh clothes. The best you can do can be to just “get through” your day. Regardless of what this looks like, having the acceptance will shift everything, including the expectations.
It is already hard to compare a tough day to a good one, but comparing ourselves to others can feel like adding salt to an open wound! It often shifts our expectations for ourselves and our life. We now live in the world of social media; where we often find that everyone’s life looks “amazing!” This view of how someone wants their life to be perceived can often make others compare their lives and can often feel that they don’t measure up. In reality, real reality, we don’t know what their life looks like. It may look exactly how they show it to the world and it still means that it may not be a life fit for us. Remind yourself that there is usually someone looking at you in this same way. They are looking at you and your life wishing that had some of what you do. Being mindful of the space you’re in means doing just that. Your life is your life; your day is your day; your mood is your mood. Doing the best you can means being okay (as best you can) with all of that!
In the end our life is ours, the good and the not so great. My hope for you is that you are able to give yourself the room you need and deserve each day, whether wonderful or not. Daily check-ins, affirmations, breathing in the good and shifting expectations as needed. May your life journey look the best and healthiest for you! Take care!