What's Your Story

A place for support, intelligence, resources and recovery

“Never underestimate the power of perspective….
 it can change everything”

I don’t love Mother’s Day, is that so wrong? It brings up painful feelings and hurt I’ve carried around like a rucksack for years. My parents divorced when I was a vulnerable teen. My father was distant and unavailable. Now I’m all but estranged from my mother, I don’t like hearing from friends about how much they cherish and admire their dear mothers. It’s particularly glaring and awful when I see women like me enjoying mother/daughter time out shopping or at lunch. Their close bond pulls on my heartstrings and I find it hard to watch. Hopefully you have the joy of feeling maternal love and closeness, that’s not something I can relate to and haven't for many years.

Deep Breath...pause….

This past Mother’s Day was the best one ever. My 4 children are healthy, productive young adults. We are all very close, and truly enjoy each other’s company. My dear husband is a great father and I am so grateful I chose him to share life with. I see now we have at least two opportunities to be part of a family in this life. One we are born into, we thrive or not depending on many circumstances, the environment in this family and the choices we make.

The other opportunity we create for ourselves as adults. We choose the way our family will related to each other, we get to build a secure, strong, close-knit loving family. I see now with compassion and forgiveness my parents did the best they knew how to do. To the best of their ability they loved us and provided for us. I choose to be a warm and caring daughter and keep trying to do better. I have learned healthy boundaries, and have been given so many gifts as a result of the lessons taken from a broken and troubled family. Today when I see mothers and daughters together I know my daughters and I have many wonderful memories and will continue to make new ones in the years to come. How blessed I am to be in the warm embrace of a loving family.

Give this a try, edit your story and see if it changes the way you feel. We cannot take away pain and hurt from the past, we can only move forward creating and living a better life.